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Skooled By Mom

Go ahead, ask mom a question. If it hurts, it's not my fault. She's just sarcastic like that.

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Category: Weekend

Weekend

Gym Clothes, According To Mom

February 18, 2018February 18, 2018 skooledbymomLeave a comment

So yesterday, this happened:

Mom: You’ve not worn your gym gear for awhile now.

Me: Well….

Mom: Wear them to bed then.

Me: Ok.

And this morning, at 6.15am, I’m at the park with mom, jogging.
Well played, mom, well played.

Actual Love · Uncategorized · Weekend

Happy Birthday, Mom

October 15, 2017October 15, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

My soul. Happiest Birthday, Mom. This is the woman who has showed Hans and I, with hard work, we can achieve anything we set our mind to. Your sarcasm builds our character because we know, life would be boring without it.

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Weekend

Vet Visits, According To Mom

October 5, 2017October 12, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

At the vet, sending our cat.

Mom: Eh you’re here.

Me: Because Hans needs to leave early, so I’ll stand in when he goes.

Mom: You know the first thing I see when I saw you?

Me: What?

Mom: Your round face. You’re fat now.

Contributions · Weekend

Slicing Onions, According To Mom

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

Mom: Can you slice these onions please? Otherwise my eyes will hurt.

Me: So it’s ok for my eyes to hurt?

Mom: Ya.

Contributed by Christine Maik, who happens to have a sarcastic mom as well. Thanks, Maik!

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Uncategorized · Weekend

Christmas Presents, According To Mom

December 27, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

Mom: You give your friends’ kids presents every year.

Me: Yes, and?

Mom: How many?

Me: 12, I think?

Mom: More this year?

Me: Yes.

Mom: What about me?

Me: You’ve got me.

Mom: You’re not a gift. I would have gifted you away when you were a child.

…and she walked away and then turned back.

Mom: Wait. You’re still a child.

Actual Love · Uncategorized · Weekend

Happy Birthday, Mom

October 15, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

Happy Birthday, mom.
This year’s a bit more special since you’re celebrating it with your favorite child (me) and Hans who flew in just for this.
We love you to the moon and back.

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Uncategorized · Weekend

Fashion, According To Mom

July 23, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

Mom: What are you wearing?

Me: T-shirt and jeans?

Mom: No, why are the jeans so big?

Me: No, it’s a type of fashion. It’s boyfriend jeans.

Mom: No. Where’s your ass?

Me: (Sighed) I’ve lost weight.

Mom: No. You never had one in the first place.

….I think there were tears (in my eyes) after that. So much  from mom.

Uncategorized · Weekend

Haircut, According To Mom

July 17, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

After getting back from the salon….

Me: Mom, I got a haircut.

Mom: Ok.

Me: What?

Mom: Sometimes I think I gave birth to an Ah Lian and not a Minah.

Uncategorized · Weekend · Work

Cooking, According To Mom

July 10, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

Me: Mom, I wanna bring rendang to office tomorrow. My colleagues want them.

Mom: Sure. Here’s 2kgs of coconut for you to desiccate.

Me: Why don’t you use the ready-made coconut milk?

Mom: You want me to cook or you want to argue?

45 minutes later, my fingers can’t feel a thing.

The Better Sibling · Uncategorized · Weekend

Showing Love, According To Mom

June 11, 2016March 8, 2017 skooledbymomLeave a comment

That awkward moment when you heard your mom saying “you’re my life and soul, my love” and when you turn around to respond, you realized that she was actually expressing that to the cat.

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