So yesterday, this happened:
Mom: You’ve not worn your gym gear for awhile now.
Me: Well….
Mom: Wear them to bed then.
Me: Ok.
And this morning, at 6.15am, I’m at the park with mom, jogging.
Well played, mom, well played.
My soul. Happiest Birthday, Mom. This is the woman who has showed Hans and I, with hard work, we can achieve anything we set our mind to. Your sarcasm builds our character because we know, life would be boring without it.
At the vet, sending our cat.
Mom: Eh you’re here.
Me: Because Hans needs to leave early, so I’ll stand in when he goes.
Mom: You know the first thing I see when I saw you?
Me: What?
Mom: Your round face. You’re fat now.
Mom: Can you slice these onions please? Otherwise my eyes will hurt.
Me: So it’s ok for my eyes to hurt?
Mom: Ya.
Contributed by Christine Maik, who happens to have a sarcastic mom as well. Thanks, Maik!
Mom: You give your friends’ kids presents every year.
Me: Yes, and?
Mom: How many?
Me: 12, I think?
Mom: More this year?
Me: Yes.
Mom: What about me?
Me: You’ve got me.
Mom: You’re not a gift. I would have gifted you away when you were a child.
…and she walked away and then turned back.
Mom: Wait. You’re still a child.
Happy Birthday, mom.
This year’s a bit more special since you’re celebrating it with your favorite child (me) and Hans who flew in just for this.
We love you to the moon and back.
Mom: What are you wearing?
Me: T-shirt and jeans?
Mom: No, why are the jeans so big?
Me: No, it’s a type of fashion. It’s boyfriend jeans.
Mom: No. Where’s your ass?
Me: (Sighed) I’ve lost weight.
Mom: No. You never had one in the first place.
….I think there were tears (in my eyes) after that. So much 
from mom.
After getting back from the salon….
Me: Mom, I got a haircut.
Mom: Ok.
Me: What?
Mom: Sometimes I think I gave birth to an Ah Lian and not a Minah.
Me: Mom, I wanna bring rendang to office tomorrow. My colleagues want them.
Mom: Sure. Here’s 2kgs of coconut for you to desiccate.
Me: Why don’t you use the ready-made coconut milk?
Mom: You want me to cook or you want to argue?
45 minutes later, my fingers can’t feel a thing.
That awkward moment when you heard your mom saying “you’re my life and soul, my love” and when you turn around to respond, you realized that she was actually expressing that to the cat.
