Mom: You give your friends’ kids presents every year.

Me: Yes, and?

Mom: How many?

Me: 12, I think?

Mom: More this year?

Me: Yes.

Mom: What about me?

Me: You’ve got me.

Mom: You’re not a gift. I would have gifted you away when you were a child.

…and she walked away and then turned back.

Mom: Wait. You’re still a child.